when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
