tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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