Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
