I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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