So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
