What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
