so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I AM VODKA MAN
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
