I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
