just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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