i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
