No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
