Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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