I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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