good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
no you cant smoke seaweed
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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