That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
