I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
