dude i'm inner monologue high
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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