You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
