Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
