Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
