do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
