remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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