Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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