well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
