Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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