i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
