jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
