HIV tests are more positive than that guy
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
