you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
