So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We are two peas in an std pod
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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