i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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