do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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