I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
