Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
