So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
