Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
