My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
