is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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