remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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