in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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