***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
