you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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