I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
