Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
it hurts more in the daytime
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
