I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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