Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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