Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
