dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
