wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
