actually, I'm a sock model
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Randomize
